It’s hard for me to chisel myself down into a little white box. I have yet to do it for my website, so I’ve just grabbed the questionnaire from OKCupid.
OH! I’m a writer/blogger and my website is www.cranialspasm.com
I have lived on the Northeast Coast of the US for my entire life and I realized it wasn’t where I am meant to be. Actually, I knew it wasn’t. Nature knew it wasn’t. Since I came to that realization, there were massive snowfalls, ridiculous tick infestations, and a fucking tornado less than 10 miles from my home. This must mean that I am a god and all the other gods are coming after me with their godly godness.
So, I’m not religious. If you’re devout, great for you but please don’t message me if you want to save my soul. I do have a very specific belief system and a VERY specific set of skills…
I have since moved to the Pacific Northwest and call Portland my home. 
I am a major comedy nerd and instead of spending my time/money going to concerts, I would take trips to Boston or New York to watch comedy. I cannot get enough of it.
I don’t know what else to write here.
Um… Shark?
What I’m doing with my life
My big passion is writing and talking to people. Thank goodness for that as I am quite good at both.
The majority of the things that I write are either completely absurd or drunken rants.
Oh, and I’m making Scotch my favorite hobby.
I’m really good at
Writing, singing, general tomfoolery, appreciating nerdy things, drinking, running from bears, accidentally stabbing myself, falling in puddles, making people laugh, comedy, not throwing three garbage bags of stale sugary doughnuts on a highschool entrance on the hottest day of the year, being completely oblivious
The first things people usually notice about me
My eyes.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: I am a big fan of sci-fi/fantasy novels with a tinge of noir (Like Dresden Files), gritty mysteries, and I completely and unironically love romance novels.
Lately I have been ready a bunch of comedian autobiographies and biographies.
My favorite book of all time is “I Was a White Slave in Harlem” by Margot Howard Howard. They haven’t done a reprint in years, but everytime I read that book it ellicits a physical response to it.
Movies: Well damn. There are a lot. Mostly I focus on the comedy genre with an occasional dip into the action pool. There are so many well known movies that I haven’t seen, but I watch some pretty obscure stuff.
Shows: Pushing Daisies, Titus, Doctor Who, Buffy, Angel, Firefly, Psych, Raising Hope, Glee, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Arrested Development, Game of Thrones (I’m actually on a “Book Spoiler-Free” podcast called Lions, Dragons and Wolves), Ricky Gervais Show, Clone High, Castle and so many more.
Music: Right now I’m focused on music that sounds all gypsy-like to me in some way shape or form. I’ve been getting a lot of listen time with Man Man, Beirut, Gogol Bordello… I’m also running through a long list of comedy singers like Hard N Phirm, Mike Phirman, Weird Al Yankovic, Stephen Lynch, Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Professor Elemental, MC Frontalot… I could keep going.
Podcasts: Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast, Doug Loves Movies, Eardrop, HijiNKS Ensue, The Legacy Music Hour, Mike Detective, Nerdist, Plus One, Pod F. Tompkast, We’re Alive – A “Zombie” Story of Survival, Jordan Jesse Go, Judge John Hodgman, Paul and Storm Talk About Some Stuff for Five to Ten Minutes (On Average), Stuff to Blow Your Mind, Stuff Mom Never Told You, Stuff You Should Know, Stuff You Missed in History Class, The Moth Podcast, NPR: Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me!, Walking the Room, The Bugle – Audio Newspaper, Comedy Film Nerds, Superego
Food: I’m a big fan of fruit and like a lot of raw vegetables and a nice juicy steak.
See Also: Candy and Single Malt Scotch
The six things I could never do without
- My iPhone
- My Sense of Humor
- My Sight
- My Hearing
- My Voice
- My Personality
I spend a lot of time thinking about
pretty much everything. Right now I’m thinking about how I wished centaurs really existed and how I’d like to see one in an argyle sweater.
On a typical Friday night I am
apparently filling out a questionairre.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
[message redacted]